Athens, OH — Having completed his freshman year in an out-of-state university, Pittsburgh-native Nick Watson, 19, contemplates transferring schools after living with a roommate who preferred Hunt’s over Heinz Ketchup. Watson, who is now indebted with thousands of dollars in student loans, did not expect to be stuck with a 2nd-rate ketchup. “What the f&*% is a ‘Catsup’ anyways?!” he added.
“College is a stressful time, especially for Pittsburghers attending our institution. Mr. Watson is overwhelmed with studying, tuition and having to explain what a pierogi is to his fellow students. We already have steps in place to rectify the situation.” says Dean Stephenson, an admitted Del Monte Ketchup supporter.
The shocking discovery left him with no choice but to confront his roommate directly on his controversial choice of condiments. The interaction was met with sheer confusion. “I don’t understand people from Pittsburgh, are you guys in like a cult or something? It’s just ketchup. Relax!!” Watson’s roommate told us.
While Watson hopes to continue his education at the university, he expressed that he would likely be purchasing a mini fridge for his own personal use.
